axe beak

thought by some to be an ordinary creature developed through those regular processes, that slow and gradual pattern that draws the schematics for mundane beasts, thon meagre trial and error, thine generations of generalised hunts and gathers, thy survival of the fittest, no! few know the axe beak’s true origin. for nature alone could never engineer such malice.

turns out, the axe beak was one of many similarly avian (though thanklessly flightless, being remnants of a flightless era) shock troops engineered by the tetrateuch, the simurge, that ancient author of manifold horrors, whos works are largely lost to us, but some remain, and yet some others might be elucidated

HEREIN

FLAIL BEAK

designed for torture

GLAIVE BEAK

their girrafic necks allow them to process their prey though second story windows, around corners, in various nooks and crannies

SIEGE BEAK

DART BEAK, a living missile, propelled by the elusive

BLOWDART BEAK

and so on

HAMMER BEAK

you get the gist of it

the basic idea is that,  like a zombie apocalypse but instead of zombies is axe beaks, they live to create gore and then consume it

the two affordances

basically there's two really solid affordances that the role playing game gives you that youre not generally able to do elsewhere, the role playing game is the killer app for these two things

-first, that you can talk to anything, talk to objects talk to animals, gods, whatever. everything can be a person in dungeons dragons, and you can just sit there and have a nice long conversation with that thing about whatever comes to mind. anything can be a person.

-second, that you are allowed to kill people. like you can kill stuff in lots of types of media but the dungeons dragons allows you to kill these same fully agential people because of that first affordance, the things you kill they can be fully realized persons with souls or whatever, and you're still basically allowed to kill them. this is actually the best version of being able to kill stuff in a game.

and these are things that have limits, you have to not take it past the limit of what's rude to other players at the table, or asinine, or whatever. you can sort of toggle these affordances off altogether, even. but then you would not be playing the best version of the game. the roleplaying game, it isnt as good if youre not allowed to talk to stuff. and its not as good if youre not allowed to kill stuff. or if the talktoable stuff is clearly regimented away from the killable stuff.

so i dont really agree with the premise that creatures should either be monsters or not, that they should be either fully killable agents or fully talktoable agents, and that these things should be clearly delineated.

Wizard Subclass: The Twisted Weaver of Curses

 (this one, some chatgpt)

Stolen Knowledge
Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, choose up to two skills from the wizard list with which you are proficient. You gain expertise with these skills. (If you have expertise with a given skill, your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses that skill.) When you fail a skill check that uses your expertise, you take d10 psychic damage and are incapacitated for one minute, or until you succeed a wisdom save against your own spellcasting DC at the start of your turn.

Cruelty Incarnate
At second level, you gain a limited resource, known as Cruel Barbs. When you cast a spell that deals damage, you can choose to expend one Cruel Barb to weave a minor curse into that magic, dealing an additional 1d6 necrotic damage to one target of the spell. You may use this feature a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (or a minimum of 1 time), and regain expended uses on a short rest. The necrotic damage increases to 2d6 at level 5 and 3d6 at level 10.

You learn the Vicious Mockery cantrip, which counts as a wizard cantrip for you. If the target of your Vicious Mockery fails to hit with their next attack before the end of their next turn, you can regain one Cruel Barb.

You also learn the Hex spell, which counts as a wizard spell for you and doesn't count against your number of spells known. You may cast Hex once per short rest without using a spell slot. If you witness when the target of your Hex fails a skill check using the ability that you chose when you cast it, you may deal them 1d10 psychic damage, and may regain as many hit points as the psychic damage dealt.

Aura of Malfeasance
Starting at 6th level, you exude an unsettling aura. Creatures within 20ft of you have disadvantage on saving throws made against your spells and your other magical effects. Creatures that would be immune to the damage of your spells, within this area, are resistant instead.

Hex Mastermind
Starting at 6th level, when you cast the Hex spell, you may add additional targets to the spell. For each level of spell slot over first, you may add up to two additional targets.

Unfoolable Tricker of Tricks
At 10th level, you gain resistance to necrotic, acid, and poison damage. You gain advantage on saving throws against any effects where a failed save would leave you charmed, dominated, blinded, frightened, unconscious, or poisoned.

(as a monster)

The Twisted Weaver of Curses

Medium humanoid (any race), any alignment

Armor Class 14 (mage armor)
Hit Points 66 (12d8 + 12)
Speed 30 ft.

STR 10 (+0)
DEX 14 (+2)
CON 12 (+1)
INT 18 (+4)
WIS 12 (+1)
CHA 14 (+2)

Saving Throws Int +7, Wis +4
Skills Arcana +7, Deception +4, Insight +4
Senses Darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 12
Languages Common, Abyssal
Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Spellcasting. The Twisted Weaver of Curses is a 7th-level spellcaster. Its spellcasting ability is Intelligence (spell save DC 15, +7 to hit with spell attacks). The Twisted Weaver of Curses has the following wizard spells prepared:

Cantrips (at will): Acid Splash, Mage Hand, Infestation, Minor Illusion
1st-level (4 slots): Magic Missile, Shield, Mage Armor, Tasha's Hideous Laughter
2nd-level (3 slots): Hold Person, Mirror Image, Blindness/Deafness
3rd-level (3 slots): Bestow Curse, Counterspell, Hypnotic Pattern
4th-level (3 slots): Evard's Black Tentacles, Greater Invisibility

Cruelty Incarnate (Recharge 5-6). The Twisted Weaver of Curses can unleash a surge of malevolent energy. All creatures within 30 feet of the Weaver must make a Wisdom saving throw (DC 15) or take 4d6 psychic damage and be afflicted by the Hex spell. On a successful save, a creature takes half damage and is not hexed.

Aura of Malfeasance. Creatures within 20 feet of the Twisted Weaver have disadvantage on saving throws made against its spells and other magical effects. Creatures that would be immune to the damage of the Weaver's spells within this area are instead resistant.

Actions

Cursed Touch. Melee Spell Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 10 (3d6) necrotic damage.

Vicious Mockery. Ranged Spell Attack: +7 to hit, range 60 ft., one target. Hit: 2d4 psychic damage, and the target has disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of its next turn. If the target fails to hit with that attack, the Twisted Weaver of Curses recharges its Cruelty Incarnate.

Reactions

Hexed Retribution. When a creature within 60 feet of the Twisted Weaver of Curses fails a skill check related to the ability chosen for the Hex spell, the Weaver can use its reaction to deal 1d10 psychic damage to that creature.

(as a song)

(Verse 1) In shadows deep, where curses creep, A twisted weaver starts to seethe, With magic dark, and words that bite, A sorcerer of the endless night.

(Chorus) Twisted Weaver, in the gloom, Draped in curses, like a shroud of doom, Spinning spells, a malevolent art, In the Weaver's web, where shadows depart.

(Verse 2) Stolen knowledge, a mind unbound, Expertise in curses that echo sound, Cruel barbs woven into the arcane, A dance of shadows, a sinister refrain.

(Pre-Chorus) Vicious Mockery, a taunting song, Hexes linger, as the night grows long, Aura of malfeasance, a chilling embrace, In the Weaver's presence, shadows encase.

(Chorus) Twisted Weaver, in the gloom, Draped in curses, like a shroud of doom, Spinning spells, a malevolent art, In the Weaver's web, where shadows depart.

(Bridge) Unfoolable tricker, resistant and sly, Hex master's gaze, a malevolent eye, Cruelty incarnate, a darkened mind, In the Weaver's realm, where curses bind.

(Verse 3) Hexed retribution, a psychic sting, In the web of curses, where echoes ring, A touch that curses, with every graze, A song of torment, in the shadowed maze.

(Pre-Chorus) Vicious Mockery, a taunting song, Hexes linger, as the night grows long, Aura of malfeasance, a chilling embrace, In the Weaver's presence, shadows encase.

(Chorus) Twisted Weaver, in the gloom, Draped in curses, like a shroud of doom, Spinning spells, a malevolent art, In the Weaver's web, where shadows depart.

(Outro) Beware the Weaver, with curses entwined, In the tapestry of shadows, where destinies find, A melody of malice, a darkened verse, In the Weaver's curse, forever immersed.

ghosts in the machine: Fulminar the Stormweaver

(chatgpt wrote this one. basically, the idea, fill in the missing lightning spells, makes lightning a real identity you can pick for your guy)

A once-inquisitive tinkerer turned accidental master of storms, Fulminar, a Deep Gnome, stumbled into the Elemental Plane of Storms via a misfiring teapot experiment. Returning forever changed, he's now the Stormweaver.

Fulminar, the Stormweaver

Small humanoid (deep gnome), any alignment

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
10 (+0)	14 (+2)	16 (+3)	18 (+4)	12 (+1)	14 (+2)

Armor Class 15 (mage armor)

Hit Points 90 (12d8 + 36)

Speed 25 ft.

Saving Throws Int +7, Wis +4

Skills Arcana +7, Insight +4, Perception +4

Senses Darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 14

Languages Common, Gnomish, Undercommon

Challenge 8 (3,900 XP)

Gnome Cunning. Fulminar has advantage on all Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws against magic.

Virile Cantrip. Fulminar’s cantrips deal half damage on a missed attack or a successful save.

Spellcasting. Fulminar is a 10th-level spellcaster. His spellcasting ability is Intelligence (spell save DC 15, +7 to hit with spell attacks). He has the following wizard spells prepared:

Cantrips (at will): Thunderclap (see below), Lightning Lure, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Shocking Grasp

1st-level (4 slots): Stormweaver’s Bolthold (see below), Mage Armor, Thunderwave, Shield, Magic Missile

2nd-level (3 slots): Gust of Wind, Scorching Ray

3rd-level (3 slots): Counterspell, Lightning Bolt, Fly

4th-level (3 slots): Storm Sphere, Arcane Eye

5th-level (2 slots): Teleportation Circle

6th-level (1 slot): Chain Lightning, Globe of Invulnerability

Actions

Arcane Shock. Ranged Spell Attack: +7 to hit, range 60 ft., one target. Hit: 21 (6d6) lightning damage.

Fulminar's Arcane Tempest (Recharge 5-6). Fulminar casts his signature spell, creating a 30-foot radius of crackling energy. Each creature he chooses within the area must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 27 (6d8) lightning damage and be restrained. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and isn't restrained.

Legendary Actions

Fulminar can take 2 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature's turn. Fulminar regains spent legendary actions at the start of his turn.

Legendary Cantrip. Fulminar casts one of his cantrips.

Reverberating Bolt. Fulminar sends a bolt of lightning, dealing 5 (1d8) damage to a target restrained by Fulminar’s Arcane Tempest.

Thunderous Barrier. Fulminar creates a protective barrier around himself, gaining resistance to all damage until the start of his next turn.

Teleport. Fulminar magically teleports to an unoccupied space he can see within 60 feet.

(and here are the promised spells, which will make it so that you, too, can stormweave…)

Thunderclap

Thunder evocation cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 5 feet
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous

You release a sudden burst of concussive sound localised in a 5-foot radius around you. All creatures in this area must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 1d6 thunder damage and is deafened until the end of its next turn. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and isn't deafened. Creatures deafened by this spell have disadvantage on attack rolls.

At Higher Levels: The damage increases by 1d6 when you reach 5th level (2d6), 11th level (3d6), and 17th level (4d6).

Stormweaver’s Bolthold

1st-level lightning evocation

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S, M (a piece of fur, a glass rod, and a pinch of iron filings)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

You conjure a powerful bolt of lightning that streaks toward a target within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 3d8 lightning damage.

Furthermore, the spell creates an electrified zone in a 10-foot radius around the target’s position. Creatures, excluding yourself, within this area when the spell is cast or who enter it for the first time on a turn or end their turn there, must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d6 lightning damage. This zone persists until the concentration ends.

At Higher Levels: When cast using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the initial target damage increases by 1d8, and the area effect damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

Arcane Tempest

2nd-level evocation

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Self (30-foot radius)
Components: V, S, M (a small lodestone and a piece of fur)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute

When you cast this spell, crackling energies spiral around you, manifesting a swirling storm of lightning within a 30-foot radius centered on yourself. Each creature of your choice within this area must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the target takes 3d8 lightning damage and is restrained by the arcs of electrical energy. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and isn't restrained.

A restrained creature can use its action to attempt to break free, making a Strength check against your spell save DC. On a success, the creature breaks free from the restraints and suffers no further effects.

Additionally, as a bonus action on each of your turns for the duration, you can cause bolts of lightning to strike one creature affected by this spell, dealing 1d8 lightning damage. You must maintain concentration on the spell to use this bonus action.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the initial lightning damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 2nd.

(chatgpt wrote this. it was chatgpt)